CHEESE

My wife tried to kill me with a block of cheese She said now baby get down on your knees I clean and clean and clean and clean I fix you dinner and you never say please My wife tried to kill me with a block of cheese My wife tried to shoot me with a rubber band Why she did I don't understand I try to help her when I can But I'm so busy playing Peter Pan My wife tried to shoot me with a rubber band My wife tried to beat me with my beanie hat She said that thing is ugly like a shedding cat She hid it in a box for ten years it sat I found it and I wore it with my tux and spats My wife tried to beat me with my beanie hat

2001: Elaine came home with groceries one day and for no reason threw a pound of cheddar cheese at me. I seriously needed police protection. That woman is a loose cannon sometimes. Luckily I survived and was writing songs at the time.